Four interrelated comedic stories of the adventures and misadventures of the passengers and crew aboard a cruise ship en route from California to Mexico.
"Are There Any Real Love Stories?" by Dawn Aldredge & Marion C. Freeman
"Mr. and Mrs. Havlicek Aboard" by Bob Illes & James R. Stein
"Mona Lisa Speaks", "Till Death Do Its Part" by Carl Kleinschmitt
Based on the book by Jeraldine Saunders
Romantic entanglements aboard a luxury boat with a sloppy salesman falling for a sexy model; rich obnoxious parents objecting to their daughter's heartthrob; smooth talking biz exec attracted to a shy young woman and prospect of an expensive divorce prompts philandering husband to plot untimely, demise of his wife. Many series favorites are gathered for the first time in "The Love Boat," a world premiere comedy. Appearing here are Don Adams ("Get Smart"), Florence Henderson ("The Brady Bunch"), Hal Linden ("Barney Miller") and Gabe Kaplan("Welcome Back, Kotter") and Karen Valentine("Room 222").
This cruise is Bound for Acapulco
"Unfaithfully Yours" by Carl Kleinschmitt
Hope Lange (Elaine Palmer) and Lyle Waggoner (Roger, her tennis instructor) play a couple of lovers, Robert Reed plays Steve Palmer, the cuckolded husband.
"Here's Looking At You, Love" by Dawn Aldredge and Marion C. Freeman
Celeste Holm (Eva McFarland) and Marcia Strassman play motherand daughter, Craig Stevens is the old flame of Eva.
"The Heckler" by Steve Pritzker
Ken Berry (Dr. Jim Berkley, a psychlogist) falls for Amy Mitchell.
Diana Canova (Donna Marley) and Kristy McNichol (linda Marley) play mother and daughter
"Once in Love with Sandy" teleplay by Dawn Aldredge and Marion C. Freeman
Story by Dawn Aldredge and Marion C. Freeman & Leonora Thuna
Bert Convy is a persitent suitor of Sandy.
In "Unfaithfully Yours," Elaine Palmer (Miss Lange) is taking an unexpected vacation with her tennis pro, Roger (Waggoner), after she has found evidence that her husband is having an affair. But her husband, Stephen (Reed), boards the Love Boat determined to win her back. In "Here's Looking at You, Love," Eva McFarland (Miss Holm) and her daughter, Pat (Miss Strassman), are on the cruise hoping that Eva can forget that she is both divorced
and overweight. But Eva is jolted by the sudden appearance of an old flame, Robert Grant (Stevens), who not only does not seem to remember her, but has a gorgeous blonde (Miss Swope) on his arm all the time. In "For the Love of Sandy," the ship's cruise director, Sandy Summers (Miss Stilwell), is the object of the affections of an amorous accountant, Ralph Manning (Convy).
A cruise ship filled with romance and comedy sets sail in "Love Boat III," a special hour-long presentation about the Pacific Princess, which has almost as many stories as it has passengers and crew members. This program is a prelude to the "Love Boat" series. Segments include: "The Newlyweds" by Brad Buckner; "The Exchange" by Rick Hawkins & Liz Sage; and "Cleo's First Voyage" by Michael Norell.
"Love Boat" spins three tales by as many writers during its maiden voyage to various Mexican ports.
Miss Franklin plays a nasty, domineering woman wed to a director of the company owning the ship. As she boards, Grandy makes a big fuss over her. Sneers she: "Lord, I love an obsequious runt."
She also is harsh with Captain Stubing, MacLeod, but for reasons that are too personal.
Miss Baxter-Birney is on the cruise with her fiance, a handsome young congressman. She is worried he'll find out she is the centerfold lady in a Playboy-like magazine called "Kitten."
Seems that while an impoverished law student, she put on a black wig and posed in her birthday suit to raise funds. Now the picture has turned up in an edition of "Kitten" sold on the ship.
She's embarrassed and ashamed and spends most of her time on a belated cover-up.
Walker, meanwhile, plays a free spirit who has lived with a pretty passenger (Brenda Sykes) for two years. She wants to get married. He doesn't. So she takes a cruise. He doesn't.
The cruise lets her get advice on fun and meeting men from a blond divorcee (Miss Somers). It also lets Walker pursue her from port to port with cries of undying love, buttressed by dying jokes.
A Tasteful Affair (Smith & Cole)/Oh, Dale! (Ritter & Feldshuh)/The Main Event (Hemsley & Page)
A married lady is followed by a detective who falls in love with her; a guy boards ship in drag to be with a girl who can't stand him; a middle aged couple try to save their marriage.
Ex Plus Y (Lorettya Swift & Richard Mulligan)/Graham and Kelly (Kristy MacNichol & Scott Baio)/Goldenagers (Charles Frank & Lauren Tewes.)Tonight's vignettes are: newlyweds distracted by the appearance of the bride's ex-husband, thirteen year olds experience first love; a touring group of senior citizens thwart romance Guests Include Loreiia Swit, Richard Mulligan. Robert Reed. Kristy McNichol, Scott Baio
Vignettes include confined to a wheelchair, a former tennis pro (Brenda Benet) becomes involved with a sporswriter (Bill Bixby), a stage-struck stowaway (Charo) creates havoc, a long-suffering wife (Audra Lindley) deals with her practical joker husband (Milton Berle).
Vignettes include a wife expecting to be dumped at sea; a faded star pursued by an admirer, celebrity-chasing passengers mistake a bore for a jewel thief.
Vignettes include: "First Time Out" A young man (Robert Heyes) tries to lose his innocence; "Take My Granddaughter, Please" A woman (Ruth Gordon) selects the ship's doctor for her spinster granddaughter (Patty Duke Astin) who prefers someone else; and "The Joker Is Mild" A has-been comic (Phil Foster) tries for a comeback.
Vignettes are: Identical twins pose as one person (Diana Canova); a girl (Lauren Tewes) falls for a guy (David Hedison) she once dumped; an older couple (Ray Bolger, Harriet Nelson) seem to cause accidents.
A retired sea captain (Phil Silvers) makes life miserable for his working son Stubing, until romance (Judy Canova) enters his life; a man (Gary Burghoff) is trapped in his cabin by an overtrained German shepherd; three eager young women (Jane Curtin, Susan Heldfond, Joanna Kerns) play games with two men (David Landesberg, Vince Baggetta. )
"Lonely At The Top" Dick Sargent - "Divorce Me, Please" Florence Henderson. Shecky Greene - "Silent Night" Donna Mills, John Gavin
A crusty curmudgeon (Will Geer) strikes up a friendship with a runaway; Julie's old boyfriend rebuffs her advances; inept painters (Arte Johnson, Pat Morita) make a shambles of the Captain's cabin.
An aging purser (Bob Crane) serves the daughter (Dori Brenner) he deserted as a child; a honeymooning couple (John Rubinstein and Kathy Bates) are plagued by unromantic calamities, wealthy phonies (Don Defore, Rosemary Decamp, David White) shower attention on a grocery clerk (Bruce Solomon) they believe to be a supermarket tycoon.
A jaded pair of entertainers (Nanette Fabray, Don Adams) mellow while at sea; a possessive mother (Pearl Bailey) resents the intrusion of her son's (Ted Lange) girlfriend (Tracey Reed); a thieving chimp almost wrecks Gopher's love life.
Part one has three stories — one with two blind young people falling in love, one with a huge diamond and jewel thieves, and the last of a man's mistress and his unsuspecting wife becoming friends.
Dick Van Patten, Bobby Sherman, Vicki Lawrence, Maureen McCormack, Scatman Crothers and others in tales of romance and "intrigue" about a congressman mixed up in a scandal, a lovesick snob and a beauty contest aboard the SS Princess.
In "Taking Sides," scripted by Hugh Wedlock,Jr., Ellen and Scott Desmond (Diana Canova and Bob Urich), and Gladys and Max Watkins (Audrey Meadows and Robert Mandan) play couples who seemingly have one thing in common: their "testy" marriages. Wendel and Ida Snead (Harry Morgan and Priscilla Morrill) are a pleasant older couple en route to Mexico for a visit with their grandchildren. Unbeknown to Ida, Wendel is paying for the expensive trip by cheating at cards in "A Friendly Little Game." Sheila Lawrence (Georgia Engel) has been sent to sea by her protective papa (Herb Voland), who has asked Doe Bricker to guard the young woman's virtue. But soon after the ship leaves the shore, Sheila is off and running into the arms of Howard Wilson (Harvey Jason), who is unable to operate without a lover's manual in "Going by the Book.
A Selfless Love (Leslie Nielsen and Linda Day George)/The Nubile Nurse (Elaine Joyce)/Parents Know Best (Janis Paige, Monty Hall)
A young bachelor (Paul Williams) must marry within the week in order to claim a $3 million inheritance; a drab widow (Michele Lee) from the San Fernando Valley poses as a glamorous adventuress and captures the heart of the Captain; a confirmed male chauvinist (Dick Gautier) angers his fiancee (Barbara Rhoades), who finds comfort in sick bay with the tip's doctor; and a scandal sheet reporter (Marcia Wallace) sets out to compile material for a sins-at-sea story.
"The Business of Love" written by Howard Albretch & Sol Weinstein
Jill Williams, a call girl (Caren Kaye) tries to reform and he meets Bill Wainwright, a handsome and affluent passenger (Christopher George) but a shadow from her past, a fromer client (Jack Carter) steps in to cause trouble;
"Crash diet Crisis" written by Ray Jessel
The Captain tries to lose weight to win Jocelyn Hyde, an old flame (Jessica Walter);
"I'll Never Fall in love Again" written by Ann Gibbs and Joel Kimmel
Nate and Roberta, two singles (Michael Callan, Annette Funicello) whose partners have died vow never to fall in love again.
Moe and Dottie Price, a mature couple, (Morey Amsterdam, Rose Marie) have fun with a new business.
1. A Japanese industrialist ( Pat Morita) uses his suave sales manager (Gary Collins) to wheedle a rich widow into selling her factory. 2. Gopher rebels against the Captain's constant barking of orders. Isaac and Doc try a bit of matchmaking on Gopher's behalf, but their well-meant plan backfires. 3. A mistress comes down with cabin fever when her boy friend (Antonio Fargas) puts a quietus on their affair because of snoopy friends on board (Kaye Ballard and Elias Jacobs).
"Gopher the Rebel." — Gopher is fired by Capt. Stubing when he falls for a pretty radical (Eve Plumb) traveling with her rich dad (Don Porter); "Cabin Fever" — A married man (Antonio Fargas) cruising with his gregarious mistress (Jonelle Allen) runs into busybody neighbors (Kaye Ballard and Elias Jacobs) and is confined to quarters; and "Pacific Princess Overtures" — A sales executive (Gary Collins) is instructed by his tycoon boss (Pat Morita) to use his charms in dealing with a stubborn widow (Diane Baker).
The captain and crew of the SS Pacific Princess are held captive on an island by a hermit.
David Doyle plays a charming bachelor who falls in love with three women at the same time (a "Charlie's Angels" might-happen), young marrieds discover they've changed, after a two-year military tour; and Sonny Bono and Marty Ingels play con men ...
The world's greatest illusionist (Vincent Price) risks losing his fiancee when he successfully mystifies some of the female passengers.
"Accidental Cruise" Soupy Sales, Joanne Worley; "The Song Is Ended" Richard Dawson, Juliet Mills; "A Time For Everything" Jill Whelan, Melendy Britt; "Anoushka" Loretta Swit.
Strange tales take place this week, including a ghostly adventure, an overprotective brother and two long-divorced couples' reunion.
"Folks From Home"
John Mclntire, Jeanette Nolan, Doc befriends an elderly couple, but faces the trauma of having to operate on the old lady, when she is involved in an accident. John Mclntire and his wife, Jeannette Nolan, play an elderly couple who are befriended by Doc, who has to perform surgery to save her life.
"The Captain's Cup"
Pat Harrington, Florence Henderson;
Pat Harrington is a crewman who falls for publicity gal Florence Henderson
Bert Convy, Leigh Taylor-Young.
Cissy Colpitts is a knockout blonde who falls for Gopher; Bert Convy is a divorced man who flips over Leigh Taylor-Young, his ex-wife's attorney.
"Isosceles Triangle" Connie Stevens; "El Kid" Robert Urich. Heather Menzies; "The Last Hundred Bucks" Rue McClanahan. Dabney Coleman.
A pair of identical twins swap fiances just before their marriage; a husband-and-wife ventriloquist team work together for the last time; and a widower proposes to cruise director Julie McCoy.
"Gopher's Opportunity" Gopher's friend and his socialite wife make him a dream job offer;
"Home Sweet Home" A wealthy widow takes up residency
aboard ship and falls in love with a steward; and "The Switch" A substitute magician working the cruise, and his new assistant become romantically involved.
"Like Father. Like Son." A charming widower and his son fall in love with the same girl. "Don't Push Me." An easygoing bachelor becomes allergic to the idea of marrying his aggressive girlfriend. "Second Chance." Isaac and an influential passenger help an ex-shoplifter.
"Alas, Poor Dwyer" by Barry Blitzer
Julie is driving everybody nuts with the approaching Haley high school reunion aboard the cruise ship. Julie's English teacher, Malcom Dwyer (Raymond Burr), a lonely alcoholic, is aboard ship for Julie's class reunion. Ross, a famed football player, comes aboard and reencounters Jason and DeLuca.
"After the War" by Carmen Finestra
Jack and Kathy Forbes (John Rubinstein and Judi West)arrive for the reunion and get shocked at seeing their oldfriend Mike Kelly (Michael Cole)crippled in a wheelchair, a war victim.
"Itsy Bitsy" by Howard Albretch & Sol Weinstein
Doc has fallen for one of Julie's former schoolmates pictured in the school yearbook.
"Ticket to Ride" Joyce Armor & Judie Neer
Julie learns her friend Wendy has divorced from Tom (David Landsberg) and an unknown admirer has sent her the cruise ticket.
"Disco Baby" by Ray Jessel
Joey, a former Julie's boyfriend, is now teaming with Sherry, her rival at high school, as dance partners.
First of two parts.
Julie's high-school-reunion cruise finds her drawn to a classmate (Michael Lembeck); Stubing helps an alcoholic teacher (Raymond Burr); a draft evader confronts a veteran; a woman holds a mystery ticket; Doc has a surprise date.
Crewmembers learn that Karl Schmidt (Conried)is considering Stubing to take over the prestigious cruise ship Lorelei, and go overboard to help their captain make an outstanding impression. A complimentary passenger (Dr. Joyce Brothers) aids their cause in "Dream Ship." In" Best of Friends," written by Fred S. Fox and Seaman Jacobs, Carol Gilmore (Ms. Lynley) agonizes about explaining that she made a date with attractive Paul Dunbar (Murphy), never realizing he had become her girlfriend's fiance. Bitter Dr. Akers (Anderson), a brilliant surgeon prior to a disabling traffic accident, puts down his old friend Doc for practicing aboard a cruise ship until Doc diagnoses his wife a tranquilizer addict and discovers the cause in "Aftermath," written by Lee Aronsohn.
A vacationing chauffeur and his wealthy employer fall in love; a famous model causes love-smitten Gopher to fantasize himself as a series of flamboyant heroes; a separated couple vie for their son's affection; and Reggie Jackson can't got anyone to believe he's really the baseball star.
Guest stars: Sir John Mills, Juliet Mills.
"Ages of Man" by Lan O'Kun— Julie, in love with an older passenger (Paul Burke), is in turn the object of a young teenager's (Patrick Labyorteaux) crush; "Families" by Howard Albrecht and Sol Weinstein — Young lovers (Mark Shera and Ellen Bry) are caught in a crossfire between their diametrically opposed parents (Arlene Dahl and Leslie Nielsen); and "Bo 'N Sam" by Ben Joelson and Art Baer — A hilariously inept duo (Philip Charles McKenzie and Michael Tucci) try to deliver a surprise present for Capt. Stubing.
In ''Sounds of Silence," Phil Backstrom/Deacon Dark (Bono), who performs hard rock in garish makeup and attire as the creation of his manager, Marty Austin (Arte Johnson), is a gentle man who wants only to sing as himself, especially after he meets beautiful Sara Nichols (Ms. Lenham) who has been deaf from birth. This is Lenham's first major television role. Mitzi De Risi (Ms. St. John) is unhappily married to Vinnie De Risi (Carras) until Doc helps him find a way to express his love in "Cyrano de Bricker." In "Murder On The High Seas," crew members don't realize that Lillian and Teddy Smith (Ms. Wynter and Lawford) are best-selling murder mystery writers when they overhear them discussing ways of doing in the captain.
In ''Super Mom," Margaret Hanrahan (Ms. Meara) has so little time for anything but her children (Katy Kurtzman and Corey Feldman) on a second honeymoon that her husband seeks other companionship. In "I'll See You Again," Eve Mills (Ms. Charisse), traveling with handsome escort Francois (Stephen Schnetzer) is reintroduced to Frank Pearse (Stevens). She assumed that he was killed in the war when she didn't receive any letters from him, but now they have been reunited. In "April's Return," Capt. Stubing is proud of his ex-stowaway, now the top singer of the shipping line and his "discovery." However, he does not realize that she is led up with entertaining and wants Julie to train her as a cruise director.
In "Third Wheel," by Lee Aronsohn, Gopher, who has never been close to his conservative father, Elliot Smith (Cummings), asks his mother, Ros (Ms. Merman), to perform a musical number with him for the crew show. Later they both realize they have hurt Elliot, who used to do the number with Ros in college. Maggie O'Brien (Ms Fabray) learns from Doc that she is pregnant and dreads breaking the news to husband Mac (Nelson), who is elatedly planning a future for just the two of them now that the last of their grown children has left home, in "Grandmother's Day," penned by Ann Gibbs and Joel Kimmel. In "Second String Mom," by Lee Aronsohn, Lee Noble (Ms. Howland) is beginning to lose hope of winning the affection of her stepdaughters when they make a forbidden shore trip and suddenly need her help.
A cast of stars get aboard when the Love Boat makes its first Alaskan tour in this two-hour episode. The Pacific Princess makes port at Vancouver, Juneau and Skagway in this chance-of-pace outing.
In CAROL AND DOUG'S STORY, the future bride and groom, Carol Bowers and Doug Bradbury (Ms. Hartman and Mark Harmon) are off for a blissful journey to the wedding site until a jealous girl (Caren Kaye) hampers the festivities by trying to get the groom-to-be in her clutches. In PETER AND ALICIA'S STORY, Alicia Bradbury (Eleanor Parker), the groom's wealthy, snobbish mother, learns that her financial situation is not what she expected. When she meets her ex-husband (Ray Milland), Alicia learns that they cannot buy everything in life. In JULIE'S STORY, Julie becomes caught up in wedding fever and decides to find her old flame, Jack Chenault (Tony Roberts), when the ship docks in Sitka to tell him that she will marry him. Also on board is Mary Prine (Donny Most), who has a crush on Julie as well as being the groom's best man. In BUDDY AND PORTIA'S STORY, Alicia's devil-may-care sister, Portia (Audra Lindley), strikes up an unusual friendship-with Buddy Bowers (Greene), and the two end up quite close once they reach the wedding destination.
In CAROL AND DOUG'S STORY, the future bride and groom, Carol Bowers and Doug Bradbury (Ms. Hartman and Mark Harmon) are off for a blissful journey to the wedding site until a jealous girl (Caren Kaye) hampers the festivities by trying to get the groom-to-be in her clutches. In PETER AND ALICIA'S STORY, Alicia Bradbury (Eleanor Parker), the groom's wealthy, snobbish mother, learns that her financial situation is not what she expected. When she meets her ex-husband (Ray Milland), Alicia learns that they cannot buy everything in life. In JULIE'S STORY, Julie becomes caught up in wedding fever and decides to find her old flame, Jack Chenault (Tonyi Roberts), when the ship docks in Sitka to tell him that she will marry him. Also on board is Mary Prine (Donny Most), who has a crush on Julie as well as being the groom's best man. In BUDDY AND PORTIA'S STORY, Alicia's devil-may-care sister, Portia (Audra Lindley), strikes up an unusual friendship-with Buddy Bowers (Greene), and the two end up quite close once they reach the wedding destination.
In OLDIES BUT GOODIES, when the woman and her man-hunting daughter arrive on the ship, the mother is attracted to a disabled man but their relationship is hampered by his snobby and obnoxious aide. In THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER, Julie thinks she's opted for the wrong career when she meets her happily married friend who took the cruise director course with her especially when she feels that Capt. Stubing is overly friendly to the woman. In THE STAGES OF LOVE, written by Tom Dunsmuir, a man believes men and women have relationships in three stages, but is in for a surprise when his last stage is supposed to occur.
In DOC, BE PATIENT, flirtatious Doc comes down with a bad case of the flu and must follow the instructions of a beautiful female doctor. Predictably, he falls for her, but can't leave his bed to make a pass. In DANCE WITH ME, Marcy McGuire has given up being a prima ballerina to run her own school in Germany. When she sees her old partner and his protegeé she tries to get him to join her school as a choreographer to save his health. In GOING MY WAY, a wacky woman who has been given the heave-ho by her boyfriend impulsively asks her Oddball cab driver to forget about driving and take the cruise with her. They find out they have a lot in common.
"Doc, Be Patient" — When Doc gets the flu, he receives private treatement from a gorgeous doctor (Susan Sullivan) who keeps his fever up even when his temperature drops; "Dance With Me" — A retired ballerina (Carol Lawrence) meets her former partner and his girlfriend(John Meehan and Starr Danias)
and must tell him the shocking truth about his future; and "Going My Way" — A madcap girl (Arlene Golonka) who has been jilted invites her cab driver (Buddy Hackett) on the cruise.
In THE AUDIT COUPLE, written by Bob Fraser and Rob Dames, Viola Penny (Ms. Diller) flips for Capt. Stubing while going ever the ship's books. However, she discovers reason to question his honesty and they have a confrontation. In THE SCOOP, written by Howard Albrecht and Sol Weinstein, TV star Jackie Landers (Ms. Dewitt) takes the cruise with her son. Fearing for her privacy, she discovers that a writer for a gossip magazine is on board and she enlists Doc's help in keeping her real secret out of the publication. In MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK, written by Joyce Armor and Judie Neer, a recently married couple finds out about trust in marriage when the wife's former love tries to make her husband jealous of the relationships they had.
In GOPHER'S GREATEST HITS, when Gopher agrees to take over for a sick performer he finds out that his vocal cords are not the most entertaining factor in his act. The segment was written by Lee Aronsohn. In THE VACATION, written by Ann Gibbs and Joe Kimmel, two sisters who usually take the cruise together are joined by one sister's husband. When he finds out about the prior trips they have taken, he learns more about trust in the institution of marriage. In ONE ROSE A DAY, written by co-producer Henry Colman, when the widow meets the man (Don Ameche) responsible for sending her a remembrance even after her husband's death, she is in for a heartrending surprise.
"Gopher's Greatest Hits" — Gopher thinks he's headed for stardom after he fills in for a singer in the lounge; "The Vacation" — A man (Conrad Janis) thinks his wife (Joanna Cassidy) is having an affair after he learns of her escapades on past cruises with her sister (Jaye P. Morgan); and "One Rose a Day" — A widow (Martha Scott) on the cruise learns more about love and life after receiving a romantic surprise.
"Crew Confessions" Isaac has trouble on the high seas when the Love Boat crew discovers he has included some racy tales about them in his new novel. "Haven't I Seen You" A man (Don Knotts) who closely resembles a celebrity starts to enjoy his new identity when a strikingly beautiful passenger showers him with love, and "Reunion" A husband and wife (Jane Wyatt and Jean Pierre Aumont) are reunited after being separated during World War II.
In CREW CONFESSIONS, Isaac shocks the crew when he writes about them in his scintillating novel, causing havoc among his co-workers. In HAVEN"T I SEEN YOU, a man has the problem of trying to convince people that he is not a well-known star. However, once he becomes friendly with a woman on the ship, he must convince the lady he is not who she thinks he is. In REUNION, when the husband and wife are reunited, they share a secret, and no one knows their true relationship.
Melissa Sue Anderson, of "Little House" guest stars as a modern-day Cinderella hassled by a mean stepmother. Other skits involve Chris George, as a chauvinistic sportscaster, and Patrick Wayne, as disabled man who unfairly dominates his brother. In CINDY, Cindy Jerome (Ms. Anderson) boards the ship with her stepmother (Ms. Jones) and obnoxious stepsisters. (Rhonda Bates and Lila Kent). Gopher (Fred Grand) finds out that Cindy has a beautiful voice and tries to have her audition for Preston Maddox (Frank Sinatra, Jr.), a famous bandleader who is on board. However, Gopher's plans backfire and Julie (Lauren Tewes) almost lays an egg at the Halloween party. In PLAY BY PLAY, Christopher George and Lynda Day George portray Bud Pomeroy and Peggy Rossmore, sportscasters on the same television show. They are rivals who learn more about each other when she challenges him to a battle of the sexes. In WHAT'S A BROTHER FOR?, guilt and love make a man (Tom Hallick) the caretaker for his handicapped brother (Patrick Wayne), until a loving young woman (Joan Van Ark) sets them both straight about their respective lives.
In a poignant episode, captain Stubing is reunited with his love child, Vicki. In NEVER SAY GOODBYE, Stubbing receives a letter from Vicki, the daughter of a past love who has died, and makes a telephone call to the child. However, he finds out that she has ran away. When the ship docks at Acapulco, he goes to find her and ends up with a unexpected, heartrending surprise. In A NEW WOMAN, Gale Storm stars as Rose Kennicott, an older woman who wants to "get with it." She seeks advice from Julie (Lauren Tewes), but the coaching backfires when Rose falls for Doc (Bernie Kopell), leaving one suiter behind (Louis Nye). In TRIAL ROMANCE, a man and a woman (Vic Tayback and Jo Ann Pflug) who were on the same deadlocked jury meet again. Unfortunately, the two can't stand each other because of personal idiosyncracies, but make the most of the situation on the high seas. Also guest starring is Sandra Dee as Dolores.
Guest starring are 11 of The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, Bill Daily, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., Jackie Earle Haley, John Hillerman, Gunilla Hutton, Patsy Kelly, Roz Kelly, Larry Linville, Dina Merrill, Ginger Rogers, Natalie Schäfer, Stephen Shortridge and William Windom. Ginger Rogers stars as a beautiful movie star, Stella Logan, who has agreed to be chairperson for the ship's charity cruise. However, once on board, Stella runs into Elliot Norman (Fairbanks), the dean of American Film and drama critics who has never given Miss Logan a good review. Once the two get together it's a contest of digs, and a surprise happening between the two. CRITICAL SUCCESS. In THE LOVE LAMP IS LIT a husband and his wife (Larrv Linville and Gunilla Hutton) board the ship.
"Not Now I'm Dying" A swinging bachelor gets the shock of his life when the phony story he tells his gorgeous girlfriend turns out to be true; "They Tried To Tell Us We're Too Young" Gopher produces some incredible hijinks to keep the unmarried daughter of Captain Stubing's boss from sharing the honeymoon suite with her boyfriend; and "Elenor's Return" Capt. Stubing falls for a recently divorced woman who was on a previous cruise, but she meets another man.
"Doc's Ex Change" Flirtatious Doc panics when his beautiful former wife boards the ship informing him they're still legally married; "The Gift" A couple whose luggage was lost suddenly finds $2,000 but can't decide
whether to return it to the rightful owners; and "Making the Grade" A boy is upset when his mother has a romance with his history teacher who is flunking him.
In "Rent A Romeo" Doc wants his new love's sister out of the way and hires a known Romeo; as for "Matchmaker, Matchmaker" a boy plans to reunite his divorced parents with the assistance of Vicki's; a wife pampers her heart-patient husband in "Y' Gotta Have Heart".
In "The Captain's Ne'er-Do-Well Brother"(by Casey Keller & Richard Albrecht)Captain Stubing's womanizing twin brother(Gavin McLeod playing a dual role and billed as O.D. Warbux) meets a wealthy lady (Diane Ladd), while in "The Remake" (by Lee Aronsohn) Julie's aunt, a widow (Florence Henderson), tries to mold a fellow passenger (James Broderick) into her husband's image. "The Perfect Match" (by Eric Gethers) through a computer a lady (Connie Stevens) looks for the perfect man (Kent McCord) to sire her child.
Gopher grows concerned when he feels his widowed mother (Ethel Merman) is overdoing it with a fun-loving bachelor (Ray Bolger).
A nun meets a former lover, and an astronomer wants to check out heavenly human bodies.
Julie helps a brilliant, but plain-looking woman become a glamor queen. Vicki and a young passenger try to help out a stowaway and a man accuses crew members of making passes at his wife.
"Dumb Luck" A brilliant plain-Jane becomes a fetching glamour girl with the help of Julie, "Tres Amigos" Vicki and a boy, traveling with his parents, try to
help out a stowaway, and "Hey, Jealous Lover" A man accuses the male members of the crew of making passes at his wife.
Betty Layton boards the ship with her husband whose huge wad of cash makes the crew suspicious. Captain and his crew try to impress a welfare worker. The crew becomes suspicious when a passenger is seen with a huge wad of money; Captain Stubing tries to impress a welfare worker who is investigating his claim for the custody of his daughter; newlyweds are shocked when two of the groom's friends Join them on the cruise.
Vicki, the captain's young daughter, gets her first taste of love when she flips for a famous singer and has to face competition from older women; two people who were in a car accident and who can't stand each other, discover each other is on board; and a young man, a recent victim of the Marvin Law, has a hard time trying to swear off women.
Isaac finds himself in a precarious position when he meets a beautiful former school chum and her macho husband. Peggy Cass, here with Gordon Jump, play a middle-aged couple trying to swing a little. A model uses Isaac to make her husband jealous; an attorney wants to marry a colleague, who's afraid to make a commitment; a wife decides that a carefree attitude will save her marriage from possible boredom.
"Friends and Lovers." — Wedding bells may ring for Julie and Gopher when they fall in love while trying to show that Gopher is just as big a ladies' man as his old college buddy (Tom Hanks); "Sergeant Bull" — Three ex-servicemen (Nipsey Russell, Harvey Lembeck and Jack Somack) set up their gung ho sergeant (Vic Tayback) for romance with a crew member (Doris Roberts) when he turns their vacation cruise into a boot camp; and "Miss Mother" — A beautiful woman (Shelley Smith)finds the man of her dreams (Dennis Cole), but she has a little secret that may bring an end to their newfound romance — of course.
Romance and comic intrigue reign on the high seas as 50 engaged couples board the Pacific Princess to compete in a "Marriage-a-Than Cruise" a contest that takes Capt. Stubing, his crew and their guests on a beautiful scenic tourney from St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands through the Panama Canal to the Mexican Riviera for a star studded mass wedding.
Fifty engaged couples take part in a Marriage-a-thon cruise. Among the passengers are two steadies who finally plan to marry after a 10-year engagement; the wedding-contest promoter and his not-so-happily married wife; and a young woman who can't locate her fiance.
Target Gopher by Fred S. Fox & Seaman Jacobs/The Major's Wife by Pat Fielder/Strange Honeymoon by R.S. Allen & Harvey Bullock/The Oilman Cometh by R.S. Allen & Harvey Bullock
A Texas oil magnate takes the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders aboard to impress his clients, including a Mideast prince who thinks one of the women has been given to him; Also on board are two brothers in the honeymoon suite; and an Air Force officer, his passive wife and an aggressive old girl friend.
"Tell Her She's Great" Isaac causes comedic chaos when he convinces the crew to bolster his stagestruck aunt's ego, which turns her into an outrageous prima donna; "Matchmaker, Matchmaker Times Two" Two sets of parents, the Cummings and the Clarks, go overboard trying to spark o romance between their respective children, and "The Baby Alarm" An unwed mother's infant son has an unusual way of showing his disapproval to men who try to romance her.
"Out of This World" by Jill Baer & Christopher Vane - Gopher's job is on the line when he and a mild mannered man (Tom Smothers) believe that a woman (Helen Reddy) is from outer space; "Captain's Triangle" by Ken Hecht - Captain Stubing is a candidate for seduction by a former girlfriend (Sue Ane Langdon) who is now married to another captain (Monte Markham); and in "Boomerang" by Lou Patrick, a beautiful model (Pamela Sue Martin), pretending to be married, learns a lesson from two bachelors (Guich Koock, Barry Van Dyke) .
Directed by Richard Kinon
In "THE FRUGAL PAIR," Miss Gaynor and Mr. Ayres star as Violet and Carl Hooper, on board to celebrate a happy anniversary. However, Carl finds out something about his penny-pinching wife that may make this their last conjugal event. In "DOC'S DISMISSAL," Keller, a wife (Jessica Walter), whose husband (Alex Cord) has the glad eye for any woman around, misinterprets Doc's kindness which may get him fired by Capt. Stubing. In "THE GIRL NEXT DOOR," a man (Sal Viscuso) tricks a woman (Lynda Goodfriend) into helping him find out what is really happening between his girlfriend and her shipmate (Stephen Shortridge).
"Jealousy" Vicki sees green when her father falls for a beautiful woman; "The Trigamist" A judge finds herself attracted to a man she ha placed on probation for being married to three women at the same time.
Gopher and Doc battle for the affections of a gorgeous pen pal (Marie Laurin.) Isaac and Doc's joke backfires when the girl (Marie Laurin) they have been writing love letters to, under Gopher's name, shows up. When they see what a beauty she is, Doc and Gopher try to outdo each other for her attention.
A couple (Dana Wynters, Paul Burke) drift apart over work habits. The man (Paul Burke) whose wife (Dana Wynter) is too busy for him finds another love.
"On Second Thought"
A woman (Trish Stewart) refuses to share quarters with her boyfriend (Patrick Wayne). The man (Patrick Wayne) finds himself out on his ear after his girl friend (Trish Stewart) discovers they were to share quarters.
A nudist gets help from an attorney and a suspicious man has a surprise in store when he meets a beautiful woman.
I Love You Too, Smith —Gopher has an off-beat romance with his shipboard adversary; Mama and Me —a domineering mother tries to break her son's romance, and Sally's Paradise —which deals with a young woman who finds the ship a bit crowded when all three of her fiances join her on the cruise.
"Aunt Hilly," In which the captain's aunt boards the ship with the intention of leaving with Vicki; "The Duel." in which Doc is challenged to a duel by the
jealous lover of a beautiful woman; and "Two for Julie," in which Julie is dazzled by the affections of two men. Olivia de Havilland, Joseph Cotton, Alejandro Rey, Linda Cristal, Dack Rambo, Ken Kercheval and Don Ameche guest.
A special cruise to Acapulco for a fashion festival. Playing themselves are Geoffrey Beene, Halston, Bob Mackie and Gloria Vanderbilt.
LOVE boat Pacific Princess goes on a cruise to sunny Acapulco and regular viewers would know what that means — a larger cast of guest stars, and an extra-long episode.
This time, the journey promises to have high fashion, intrigue and, of course, comedy and romance. The highlight of this episode is a fashion show featuring four of America's most famous clothing designers, namely Geoffrey Beene, Halston, Bob Mackie and Gloria Vanderbilt.
Problems of the heart are in store for a husband and wife who are owners of a model agency. Their marriage is in jeopardy when tempers flare over the use of one of the models who has captured the captain's eye.
Another heartache involves a cosmetic king who is searching for a unique woman to represent his new product, and finds not just one, but two likely candidates. Cruise director Julie McCoy gets the limelight when she models in place of a model friend who has fallen in love.
Guest-starring: Robert Vaughn, Mike Connors, McLean Stevenson, Anne Baxter, Debra Winger, Elke Sommer, Morgan Brittany, Jayne Kennedy, Christina Ferrare, Dick Shawn, Bobby Short, Richard Gilliland.
A special cruise to Acapulco for a fashion festival. Playing themselves are Geoffrey Beene, Halston, Bob Mackie and Gloria Vanderbilt.
In an episode filmed in Australia, Julie prepares to marry her fiancé (Anthony Andrews) during a stopover in Sydney. Also on board: an anthropologist (Henry Morgan) and his wife (Katherine Helmond); a New Zealand rancher (Patrick Duffy) with a secret he won't share with a fellow passenger (Michelle Phillips).
Second of two parts. A shy schoolteacher (Michelle Phillips) falls in love with a cattleman (Patrick Duffy) who has a secret. A beauty tries to break up the romance. And Gopher and Doc vie for the affections of the new cruise director.
On board: a wine-tasting competition.
A schoolteacher who doubles as an exotic dancer tries to keep a PTA member (Christopher Norris) from catching his act; two jewel thieves (Michael Zaslow, Joan Van Ark) team up professionally and romantically.
Gopher finds money and fantasizes how he'll spend it; a folk singer (Florence Henderson) meets an old friend (James Noble) who's now a politician; a man (Mason Adams) interferes in his daughter's romances.
A new female cook (Easterbrook) arrives to lend a hand to the busy chef (Jay Johnson). A bumbling German detective (Bernie Koppel in a dual role) is hired to watch a lady's (Noble) jewels. An old sea dog (Basehart) is embittered by his memories and the fact of bring crippled.
A beautiful fun-loving woman with a secret meets a former lover who is now cynical about life. Sha tries to revitalise his spirit while recovering from her own fear. A bumbling detective almost turns the ship upside down when the jewels of the woman who hired him are stolen. Everyone is under suspicion including the captain and his daughter
An earthy woman comes between a socialite (Marti Stevens) and her escort (Cesare Danova); psychic researchers (Juliet Mills, Buddy Hackett) search for a ghost on board.
A curmudgeon (Lloyd Bridges) reads his will to greedy relatives: Jim Nabors, Beth Howland, Ethel Merman. Other passengers: Jessica Walter, Linda Evans, Grant Goodeve, Graham Kennedy.
A couple (Jerry Stiller, Anne Meara) plan to renew their vows but discover that a difference of opinion may lead to divorce; a widow (Marion Ross) tries to interest an an English lord, an apparently wealthy man (Bernard Fox) in her spinster sister (Audra Lindley); a tooth filling interferes with Gopher's romantic pursuits.
Doc is reunited with his brother (Jack Bannon), whom he hasn't seen in years; a comedy team (Milton Berle, Martha Raye) impersonates another couple to obtain free passage; a woman experiences love for the first time when she meets a novelist (Daryl Anderson).
The Captain poses for an artist (Lee Meriwether) who is painting his portrait; a public-relations man (Sonny Shroyer) tries to get the attentions of a woman who lives in his apartment house.
Gopher believes he recognizes an attractive woman; a pianist (James MacArthur) decides to begin playing again; a man (Dick Shawn) faking insanity to get workers' compensation goes nuts over a psychologist (Joanna Cassidy).
A fellow (Bert Convy) thinks he was married to a woman in a past life; Julie decides to change her hairstyle; a passenger (John Phillip Law) falls for a woman (Lynda Day George) accompanied by her son (Corey Feldman).
A schemer (Robert Mandan) decides to leave his girlfriend (Phyllis Davis) on board with his partner; the Captain receives important information about the woman (Pat Crowley) he is considering marrying.
A tycoon offers $10,000 to the crew to find him a wife; a businessman (Dick Van Patten) tries to dump his assistant (Rue McClanahan) after he falls for a dizzy blonde (Judy Landers).
In "New York A.C.," three men (Byrnes, Fabian and Sherman) who are members of the New York Alimony Club board for a fun-filled cruise without worries of getting serious about any women. However, once they meet a lovely woman (Ms. Funicello), they are in for a big surprise. When Capt. Stubing begins to change his behavior patterns after a close friend dies, he learns an important lesson, in "Live it Up." In "All's Fair in Love and War," the girlfriend (Jill St. John) of a married man (Ely) gives him an ultimatum that gains surprising results.
In "The Musical," the crew puts on the First Annual Cruise Show, including the combined musical talents of Gopher's mother (Ethel Merman), who rekindles a romance with a former movie star (Van Johnson); one of Doc's ex-mother-in-laws (Ann Miller) who tries to steal the show away from the other women; Isaac's mom (Della Reese), who is being chased by an ardent suitor (Cab Calloway);and Julie's eccentric Aunt Sylvia (Carol Channing). In "My Ex-Mom," Doc's flamboyant former mother-in-law (Ann Miller), the belle of Broadway, brings along her daughter, Trish (Tracy Bregman), who causes friction between Doc and Gopher when Gopher becomes attracted to Doc's former sister-in-law. Carol Channing, as Julie's rich and eccentric Aunt Sylvia, causes Julie to want to jump ship when Sylvia constantly worries about her wealthy husband's whereabouts while she is rehearsing for the talent show, in "My Aunt, the Worrier." Isaac's mother (Della Reese) must make an important decision concerning their future while she is being wooed by an insistent - and very rich - man (Cab Calloway), in "The Pest."
A rival captain challenges the Pacific Princess to an athletic competition.
A publisher (Jared Martin), trying to sign up a famous author (Alan Hale), becomes involved with the author's daughter; when a young man (Rad Daly) rejects Vicki's attentions, she misinterprets Gopher's consoling gestures as signs of romantic interest.
A doctor (Ben Vereen) is ill at ease when his barrister companion becomes too friendly with his former lover (Lynne Moody); Gopher pines after a woman (Susan Strasberg) who was his former teacher.
A widow (Jane Powell) has an encounter with a man who claims to be her guardian angel; a separated couple (Jayne Meadows Allen, Gene Rayburn) are accidentally reunited.
A dynamic angel, played by Charo, returns as an unusual tutor to a man played by David Hedison; a beautiful widow (Jane Powell) meets her guardian angel (Hugh O'Brian); and a separated couple (Jayne Meadows and Gene Raymond) meet on the cruise and they learn more about their lives and their marriage.
A gown finds its way into the life of a woman (Eleanor Parker) who is afraid to meet her daughter (Catherine Parks); and a young lady (Markie Post) goes on a diet so she can fit into the dress.
Is one of the prime suspects in a diamond robbery in Istanbul, passenger Mark Hayward, a former international jewel thief? Also involved in the mysterious circumstances surrounding the theft are a beautiful woman, who is attracted to Hayward, and an unusual couple. Mike Connors, Linda Evans, Polly Bergen and Nancy Dussault guests.
A skipper (McLean Stevenson) hoping to replace Capt. Stubing boards the Pacific Princess, two men compete for the same woman (Shelley Fabares), and the fiancee (Jenilee Harrison) of a wealthy young man is afraid of revealing her background to his parents.
The owner of a secretarial agency (Don Adams of Get Smart) has problems finding a secretary for a difficult woman (Fannie Flagg) and so he offers himself, and ends up falling in love with her.
A handsome football player (John Amos of Roots) tries all sorts of moves in romancing a girl (Jayne Kennedy), but strikes out all the time.
A passenger (Donny Most) finds himself involved with an offbeat lady (Claudia Lonow of Knots Landing) who also happens to be a stowaway.
Captain Stubing goes ga-ga over a movie queen (Joan Collins) who has recently divorced her ninth husband. Stubing is enraptured by her charm and beauty, while she contemplates adding him to her list of conquests.
Elsewhere aboard the Pacific Princess, a woman(Stella Stevens) finds herself feeling lonely because her husband's (Monte Markham) golf fame comes first. So, she decides to flirt with an old friend (Ron Ely). Meanwhile, a hairdresser (Richard Gilliland) tries to break up the engagement of his former girlfriend (Delta Burke) to a stuffy man (Jeffrey Tambor).
As usual, there are three skits. In "Abby's Maiden Voyage", a young woman (Mary McDonough) who boards with her friend (Constance Forslund) meets a man (Brodie Greer) with whom she is determined to lose her virginity to!
Next, "He Ain't Heavy" is about a young man (Michael J. Fox), travelling with his parents (Barbara Billingsley and Don Porter), who takes an instant dislike to one of the ship's crew (Gregg Henry).
Lastly, in "I Like To Be In America", a woman named April (Charo) tells Capt Stubing and his crew that she wants to remain an United States citizen, but have to pass a test. With the help of a judge (Esther Rolle) on board, Stubing and gang play tutor to her — for the better, or the worse?
Vivacious Hannah (Mary Martin) rekindles a love affair with an old flame (Max Showalter).
A professor (Sam Jaffe) is told by his student that someone is taking his place — and it's she! Other guests: Dick Van Patten, Anne Meara and Barry Van Dyke.
A 75-year-old man, holidaying with his granddaughter, is envious when he meets a friend who hasn't aged. When his granddaughter falls for the man, he tries to get hold of the young man's "youth potion". Bartender Isaac finds his bachelor status! threatened when the woman he's been dating has marriage on her mind. A happy honeymoon goes awry when a couple is assigned to the ship's "Bad Luck Cabin".
John Hillerman plays an internationally famous inspector, traveling with his secretary. And all this turns into a missing person case with the captain and crew suspects. Also Julie's old school chum (Jeannie Wilson), with her son in tow, is startled to meet her father (Claude Akins) and another shipmate (Tony Dow).
The second two-hour special in as many weeks finds the cast and crew off to Amsterdam and Copenhagen, with stories about misspent love and
bad timing. Sailing to Amsterdam and Copenhagen, two people (Cloris Leachman, George Kennedy) meet again; a woman (Elke Sommer) avoids the smitten captain; Vicki befriends a fugitive (Patrick Cassidy); a mistress (Teri Copley) surprises her lover.Guests include Eileen Brennan, Cloris Leachman, Elke Sommer, George Kennedy, Teri Copley and Pat Harrington.
A young woman enlists the aid of Ace in order to impress her mother, a down-and-out comic gains a new lease on life and the staff inadvertantly hires three Santa's. Take a Christmas cruise on "The Love Boat" along with Ray Walston, Avery Schreiber and Scatman Crothers, playing a trio of Santas...