Howard: (to Vince) It was a different aesthetic then. None of your fashionable androgyny in Tommy's day. He was a man's man. I mean, look at you—feather cut, the pointy features. Put you back in the '50s, you'd be imprisoned for being a witch. They'd lock you in a trunk.
Howard: (about Tommy) He used to go down to Brighton at weekends, and if he saw any mods, he'd run at 'em, head-butt 'em off their scooters. (Vince laughs) Rockabilly Rhino, we used to call him.
Vince: Sounds like the work of a violent dwarf.
Howard: Well, he did have violent episodes. That is true.
Howard: Tommy was a dreamer. We all dream ... but do we really dream?
Vince: Yeah. We do.
Howard: Yeah, but do we really dream?
Vince: Yeah, we do. What's your point?
Howard: He once dreamt about a zoo so small it could fit inside a key. (Vince looks confused) Not his best dream, OK? He had other dreams. That was Tommy's gift. He could move from dream to dream to dream, like the dream skipper.
Vince: Did he eat a lot of cheese?
Howard: Yeah, a little bit too much, actually. Um ... yeah. He had a problem with calcium build-up.
Vince: Is that why his head was all...
Vince: (to Howard) You've gone wrong. You've gone wrong in your mind tank.
Vince: You've got to accept it, Howard. We all die.
Howard: We all die, but do we really die?
Vince: What is that?
Howard: Something Tommy taught me. Never stop questioning the nature of reality.
Vince: I know you're questioning the nature of reality, but are you really questioning it?
Howard: Now you're getting it.
Vince: I am getting it ... but am I really getting it?
Howard: That's enough now.
Vince: It is enough, but is it really enough?
Fossil: (speaking into his tape recorder) Note to self: I hate whites.
Naboo:: I might transform myself into a mighty hawk.
Vince: Into a what?
Naboo:: (whispering) Mighty hawk.
Naboo:: Either that or work in Dixons. I haven't decided.
Vince: That's a tough call.
Vince: Do you remember when that llama got out?
Howard: Oh, yeah.
Vince: Ah, he went AWOL. He went crazy. Started hoofin' the public. Do you remember that?
Vince: Ah, he was out there hoofing doctors, hoofing vicars. (laughs) He got in the gift shop, put a false moustache on, a little girl came and went, "Can I have a pencil top?" Hooo! (laughs) Hoofed her out the shop.
Howard: It's one of the few ways to calm a llama down.
Vince: Calm a llama down...
Howard: Calm a llama...
Together: Deep down in the ocean blue / Like a barnacle sittin' in a tight place / Laughing like a monkey / I'm pulling like a China boy / Cadaway, cadaway, cadaway, noise / Boing, chick-ah, masala / Boing, chick-ah, masala / Ohhh, tooth, phoot!
Howard: You can't come to the jungle dressed like that.
Vince: Like what?
Howard: Like a Camden leisure pirate.
Howard: This is my look.
Howard: Forest casual.
Howard: Forest casual, for the leafy gent.
(distant howling can be heard)
Vince: What was that?
Vince: What, pretending to be wolves?
Howard: They're very good mimics.
Vince: Are you ever gonna shut up about Tommy?
Howard: Don't you understand anything? Do you know why we're here? We're here to find him, rescue him, bring him back.
Vince: Did you love him? (smirks)
Howard: You say one more thing about Tommy, and you're on your own here.
(Vince pauses a moment)
Vince: Did you kiss him?
(Howard walks away)
Vince: Who are you?
Rudy: I go by many names.
Vince: Well, what are they, then?
Rudy: I'm getting 'round to that in my own good mystical time. Some call me Shatoon, bringer of corn. Others call me Mickey Nine, the dream weaver. Some call me Photoshop. Others call me Trenoon, the boiler. (time passes) Some call me Marjorie Keek. Others call me Captain Margaret. (time passes) Others call me R-r-r-rubbady Pubbady.
Vince: Look, I haven't really got time for this.
Rudy: I know all things.
Vince: Basically, I'm looking for my mate—
Rudy: Do not tell me. Perhaps what you seek is inside yourself.
Vince: No, it's not.
Rudy: Damn, that usually works.
Vince: Thanks, Rudy. You've been great. I don't know what to say.
Rudy: Don't say anything. Simply kiss my balls.
Vince: I'm not doing that.
Rudy: You have passed the test
Vince: What test?
Rudy: The ball test. Most men would have kissed my balls, for they are worth—
Tommy: (to Vince) Beauty is but skin deep, my pointy friend.
Howard: Get ready for some Tommy magic. Here comes the wisdom.
Tommy: Yes, my face is hideous to behold, but when I dance, oh, how my beauty shines forth and lights up the jungle! (singing and "dancing") Cheese is a kind of meat / A tasty yellow beef / I milk it from my teat / But I try to be discreet / Oh, cheese / Oh, cheese.
Vince: (to Howard) Is that your hero?
Howard: Yeah, he's gone a bit wrong.
Tommy: Listen, Howard. Remember the first thing I taught you.
Howard: That dolphins are evil.
Tommy: No, the other thing.