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The Neighbors: Bathroom Etiquette

It's the first day of school and Debbie is ecstatic to be able to give advice to the Bird-Kersees on how their kids should behave. However, things go awry and both the Weavers and the Bird-Kersees end up in the Principal's office.

Episode Info
Episode number: 1x4
Airdate: Wednesday October 17th, 2012

Director: Chris Koch
Writer: Dan Fogelman

Alternate Airdates:

AU (Seven) Oct 05, 2013

Guest Stars
Grant HarveyGrant Harvey
As Jock
Meagen FayMeagen Fay
As Principal (Principal Berger)

Co-Guest Stars
Madison West GillMadison West Gill
As Bitchy Girl
Patrick OPatrick O'Sullivan
As Johnny Unitas
Alden VillaverdeAlden Villaverde
As Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Katherine TokarzKatherine Tokarz
As Mary Lou Retton
Christian MooneyChristian Mooney
As Bully #1
Main Cast
Jami GertzJami Gertz
As Debbie Weaver
Lenny VenitoLenny Venito
As Marty Weaver
Simon TemplemanSimon Templeman
As Larry Bird
Toks OlagundoyeToks Olagundoye
As Jackie Joyner-Kersee
Clara MametClara Mamet
As Amber Weaver
Tim JoTim Jo
As Reggie Jackson
Ian Patrick (2)Ian Patrick (2)
As Dick Butkus
Max CharlesMax Charles
As Max Weaver
Isabella CrampIsabella Cramp
As Abby Weaver
Episode Notes
Episode viewers (millions, Live + Same Day): 6.53

Zabvronian children learn by feeding on the brains of their elders.

Zabvronians have 3 anuses.

Episode Quotes
Jackie: Oh, it's so complicated... Your schools, social structure. It's overwhelming.
Larry: On our planet, we skip all this nonsense and educate our children by feeding
them the brains of their elders.
Marty: So you take the brain, actually...
Debbie: Please don't. Don't.

Larry: Pardon me for being skeptical, but look how they use this room, with all their... towels and soaps and... excrement bowls.
Dick: Come again? (spoken after being dunked in the commode)
Marty: I'm sorry. Uh, I'm confused.
Dick: You're confused? I've my head in there for the last 40 minutes.

Marty: You people keep plants in your bathrooms?
Larry: It's true, Marty. We grow gardens in the room next to our sleep chamber. You keep a sewer there. Yes, I guess we are the crazy ones.

Marty: You sure you want to get involved here? because if there's one thing I know, It's that you don't tell other parents how to raise their kids.
Debbie: You know, you're right. Everything about what you just said to me is right. It's just something about these neighbors. They're a blank slate. I get to teach them how to live. It makes me feel like Oprah.

Reggie: Are these denim trousers sagging properly?
Larry: Reggie Jackson, pull up your trousers. We don't need to see your anuses.

Debbie: (to Larry and Jackie) Calling attention to your kid only puts a bigger target on his back, On his tiny, frail... boneless?
Dick: Boneless.
Debbie: Boneless back.

Larry: Let me ask you, Principal... Is it proper that a boy be sent to school with his pants so low that you can see, not one, not two, but all three of his...
Debbie: Larry!
Larry: Anuses?

Principal Berger: I fear I have no choice but to suspend Dick.
Larry: Oh, thank you. He'll love that.
Dick: Where will I be suspended from? Not too high, I hope.

Debbie: (to Principal Berger) Some stuff may have gotten lost in translation... as much our fault as it is theirs.
Larry: You can say that again, sister. (to Jackie) It seems I've graduated from sarcasm to sass.

visual: Jackie answers the door.
Jackie: Hello?
Debbie: It's an orchid.
Marty: We thought it would look nice in your crapper.

Jackie: Oh, good. There you are.
Larry: We just grounded Reggie Jackson. Quick question. How does he breathe?
Debbie: Oh, God!
Marty: What did they do?

Cultural References
Debbie: (to Marty) It makes me feel like Oprah.

Oprah refers to Oprah Winfrey, an American talk show host who specializes in telling her guests how to improve their lives.

Other Episode Crew

CreatorDan Fogelman
Executive ProducerDan Fogelman  |  Chris Koch
Co-Executive ProducerKristin Newman  |  Kirker Butler  |  Kat Likkel  |  John Hoberg
Supervising ProducerScott King
ProducerBari Halle
Co-ProducerIsaac Aptaker  |  Elizabeth Berger (2)
Associate ProducerNick Pavonetti
Production DesignerP. Erik Carlson
EditorJonathan Schwartz (3)
CastingSusan Vash
Unit Production ManagerSuzanne Geiger
First Assistant DirectorRichard Rosser
Second Assistant DirectorAdam Martin
MusicChris Koch
Music EditorChris Foster
Music SupervisorJennifer Pyken
Costume DesignerKarla Stevens
Key GripJordan Garretson
Camera OperatorBuddy Fries  |  Bruce M. Pasternack
Set DecoratorErica Rogalla
Location ManagerDuffy Taylor
Transportation CoordinatorRob Young
Property MasterPola Shreiber
Construction CoordinatorMichael Reinhart
Production Sound MixerMark Hopkins McNabb
Script SupervisorNila Neukum
Production CoordinatorJonathan Deiner
Assistant EditorLiza Cardinale
Supervising Sound EditorRandy Thomas
Re-Recording MixerBrian Harman  |  Dean Okrand
Director of PhotographyJoe Pennella
Post Production CoordinatorSara Dolin
Costume SupervisorMichelle Matt
Visual Effects SupervisorCraig Weiss
Production AccountantVicki Perez
Chief Lighting TechnicianThomas Pugh
Production StaffDon Elliott  |  Kimberly Leonard  |  Patrick Richmond  |  Nancy Han  |  Jeremy Hall  |  Molly Koch
ThemeChris Koch
Dept. Head Make-up ArtistRobin Siegel
Dept. Head Hair StylistAudrey Futterman-Stern
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