Jackie: Oh, it's so complicated... Your schools, social structure. It's overwhelming.
Larry: On our planet, we skip all this nonsense and educate our children by feeding
them the brains of their elders.
Marty: So you take the brain, actually...
Debbie: Please don't. Don't.
Larry: Pardon me for being skeptical, but look how they use this room, with all their... towels and soaps and... excrement bowls.
Dick: Come again? (spoken after being dunked in the commode)
Marty: I'm sorry. Uh, I'm confused.
Dick: You're confused? I've my head in there for the last 40 minutes.
Marty: You people keep plants in your bathrooms?
Larry: It's true, Marty. We grow gardens in the room next to our sleep chamber. You keep a sewer there. Yes, I guess we are the crazy ones.
Marty: You sure you want to get involved here? because if there's one thing I know, It's that you don't tell other parents how to raise their kids.
Debbie: You know, you're right. Everything about what you just said to me is right. It's just something about these neighbors. They're a blank slate. I get to teach them how to live. It makes me feel like Oprah.
Reggie: Are these denim trousers sagging properly?
Larry: Reggie Jackson, pull up your trousers. We don't need to see your anuses.
Debbie: (to Larry and Jackie) Calling attention to your kid only puts a bigger target on his back, On his tiny, frail... boneless?
Debbie: Boneless back.
Larry: Let me ask you, Principal... Is it proper that a boy be sent to school with his pants so low that you can see, not one, not two, but all three of his...
Principal Berger: I fear I have no choice but to suspend Dick.
Larry: Oh, thank you. He'll love that.
Dick: Where will I be suspended from? Not too high, I hope.
Debbie: (to Principal Berger) Some stuff may have gotten lost in translation... as much our fault as it is theirs.
Larry: You can say that again, sister. (to Jackie) It seems I've graduated from sarcasm to sass.
visual: Jackie answers the door.
Debbie: It's an orchid.
Marty: We thought it would look nice in your crapper.
Jackie: Oh, good. There you are.
Larry: We just grounded Reggie Jackson. Quick question. How does he breathe?
Debbie: Oh, God!
Marty: What did they do?