<-- Previous EpisodeNext Episode -->

The Neighbors: Merry Crap-Mas

The Bird-Kersees experience their first Christmas, at the expense of ruining the holidays for the Weavers.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 1x9
Airdate: Wednesday December 05th, 2012

Director: Luke Greenfield
Writer: Tracy Oliver

Alternate Airdates:

AU (Seven) Nov 09, 2013

Co-Guest Stars
Patrick OPatrick O'Sullivan
As Johnny Unitas
Clint CulpClint Culp
As Sales Associate
Main Cast
Jami GertzJami Gertz
As Debbie Weaver
Lenny VenitoLenny Venito
As Marty Weaver
Simon TemplemanSimon Templeman
As Larry Bird
Toks OlagundoyeToks Olagundoye
As Jackie Joyner-Kersee
Clara MametClara Mamet
As Amber Weaver
Tim JoTim Jo
As Reggie Jackson
Ian Patrick (2)Ian Patrick (2)
As Dick Butkus
Max CharlesMax Charles
As Max Weaver
Isabella CrampIsabella Cramp
As Abby Weaver
Episode Notes
Episode viewers (millions, Live + Same Day): 6.42

ArtistSong TitlePlayed When
Andy WilliamsIt's the Most Wonderful Time of the YearThe Bird-Kersee's open the Weaver's presents
Cast membersWe Wish You A Merry Christmas 
Jim HensonHave Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (as Kermit)Larry plays with the Etch-A-Sketch
Run DMCChristmas In HollisLarry fixes Christmas for the Weavers
(Unknown artist)Deck The HallsMarty & Debbie hanging stockings
(Unknown artist)Jingle BellsThe Zabvronians play with the Weaver's gifts

Episode Quotes
Debbie: Are you sure that's the iPad?
Marty: Honey, you tend to remember something you bought your eight year old that you're gonna be paying for the next three years.

Debbie: So guys, we need a small favor. We need a place to hide our Christmas gifts. We got some nosy kids, and... (points to lots of wrapped presents)
Jackie: (jumps excitedly and claps) Ohh! Christmas! I've been so excited for this one!
Larry: Oh, you people.
Jackie: So, we're not excited about this one, either?
Marty: (to Debbie) Here we go.

Debbie: Christmas is about family and smile and the joy of being together. The gifts are just one tiny part of it.
Larry: Oh, yes. And there's that fat, slovenly burglar you call Santa Claus. Honestly. Put on an apron for God's sake, fatso.

Debbie: (to Marty, angrily) What the Hell? Is this the constitution? (Max's list) Who makes amendments to a Christmas list?

Debbie: Let's take a nice vacation somewhere and hang with the family for Christmas. Somewhere nice. Maybe somewhere tropical.
Marty: Yeah, but we can't afford tropical. We just spent a butt-load of money on all their presents.

Amber: So no presents for Christmas this year? Great. You've ruined the one day a year I actually find this family tolerable.
Marty: Oh.
Max: So just to be clear, I've been good all year, and I'm getting lumped in with her?
Abby: Well, I guess a trip for the family sounds fun.
Amber: Oh, zip it, kiss-ass.

Debbie: Oh, I got it Marty. Look at this. "Available time-share in Hawaii. Three bedroom, updated kitchen, short walk to the beach, bidet"!
Marty: (gasps) The tushie-squirting thing? Holy Crap, they have the tushie-squirting thing!

Debbie: She (Amber) had the sweetest look of excitement on her face her first few Christmases. I hang on to that memory when she says hurtful things to me.
Jackie: Ooh, I imagine you must think of that several times a day.
Debbie: Yeah.

Cultural References
Larry plays with an Etch-A-Sketch, thinking it is an iPad.

An Etch-A-Sketch is a mechanical toy used for drawing sketches using two circular knobs that control a stylus inside the device.

Other Episode Crew

CreatorDan Fogelman
Executive ProducerDan Fogelman  |  Chris Koch
Co-Executive ProducerKristin Newman  |  Kirker Butler  |  Kat Likkel  |  John Hoberg
Supervising ProducerScott King
ProducerBari Halle
Co-ProducerElizabeth Berger (2)  |  Isaac Aptaker
Associate ProducerNick Pavonetti
Production DesignerP. Erik Carlson
EditorDavid L. Bertman
CastingSusan Vash
Unit Production ManagerSuzanne Geiger
First Assistant DirectorRichard Rosser
Second Assistant DirectorAdam Martin
MusicChris Koch  |  Jim Murphy
Music EditorChris Foster
Music SupervisorJennifer Pyken
Costume DesignerKarla Stevens
Key GripJordan Garretson
Camera OperatorBuddy Fries  |  Bruce M. Pasternack
Set DecoratorErica Rogalla
Location ManagerDuffy Taylor
Transportation CoordinatorRob Young
Property MasterPola Shreiber
Construction CoordinatorMichael Reinhart
Production Sound MixerMark Hopkins McNabb
Script SupervisorNila Neukum
Production CoordinatorJonathan Deiner
Assistant EditorAlbert Coleman
Supervising Sound EditorRandy Thomas
Re-Recording MixerDean Okrand  |  Brian Harman
Director of PhotographyJoe Pennella
Post Production CoordinatorSara Dolin
Costume SupervisorMichelle Matt
Visual Effects SupervisorCraig Weiss
Production AccountantVicki Perez
Chief Lighting TechnicianThomas Pugh
Production StaffRyan Manning  |  Neal Morell  |  Mick Spitalnick  |  Max Slomoff  |  Don Elliott  |  Brock Helfer
ThemeChris Koch
Dept. Head Make-up ArtistRobin Siegel
Dept. Head Hair StylistAudrey Futterman-Stern
Missing Information
Click here to add Episode Goofs
Click here to add Episode References
Click here to add Analysis