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A crazed Confederate general is looking for a secret cache of Union gold hidden in a California town. Since he doesn’t know which one, he and his men have to tear them up one at a time, killing the locals and destroying their homes. The Chamber of Commerce of Wildside must track him down and put a stop to his activities.
Varges: Why do you want to own a gun?
Mr. Vick: To shoot Indians!
Varges: They shoot back, you know.
Mr. Vick: What gun do you use?
Varges: I never use a gun. I don't trust them. I respect guns, but I don't trust them.
Brodie: You see, guts is a word that people use when they don't really know what they're feeling.
Varges: This is your place?
Alice Freeze: Sure is. Always wanted to be an undertaker, since I could remember. Went to school to learn, saved my pennies, and here I am.
Alice Freeze: Dying's s not so bad. It's better then a sharp stick in the eye. Don't worry: I'll take care of you real fine.
Brodie: Let's hope you don't have to, ma'am.
Alice Freeze: (to Varges) Oh, right. You can come back any time. Even if you're alive.
Julietta: Who are you people?
Brodie: Why, we're the Chamber of Commerce of Wildside.