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'Killer Women' Series Premiere: Dead On Arrival


Tricia Helfer Killer Women


We are still some time away from knowing the first, if any, casualties of the winter season as new series pop up across the television landscape, but after its pilot episode, ABC’s ‘Killer Women’ is sure to make it on the short list.

The Sofía Vergara-produced and Tricia Helfer-starring light drama about a savvy and sexy Texas Ranger is immediately familiar and forgettable, with little to say, and nothing new to share. The fact that Vergara, who stares on ABC’s hit sitcom ‘Modern Family,’ is being touted on every ‘Killer Women,’ promo certainly lends pause, suggesting there isn’t much compelling to add.

It’s true, and ‘Killer Women’ may soon be dead and gone.

Helfer, whose fervid cult-following from ‘Battlestar Galactica’ probably won’t help out here, plays Molly Parker, a soon-to-be-divorced Ranger who often goes rogue, breaks the rules, and understands women better than her obtuse male counterparts. Off the top, she confronts men in the professional world who are implicitly sexest and wary of this tall, gorgeous, jeans-wearing lawwoman.

In the pilot, ‘La Sicaria,’ which premieres tonight (Jan. 7) on ABC at 10/9c, Parker and her colleagues tackle a case of murder, even though during the episode Parker admits to working on 15 cases at once (see, she is a busy and dedicated woman). ‘La Sicaria’ (the title is in fact the most clever part of the show; it’s Spanish for ‘The Hitwoman’) opens as a red-dressed and high-heeled vamp (guest star Nadine Velazquez, not given enough to do here) nonchalantly breaks up a wedding before its pivotal moment, shooting and killing the bride – an Assistant District Attorney – with her blood splaying her almost-husband.

It’s a crime of passion, or at least that is the initial assumption. Parker – and only Parker – thinks something far more complex is going on that just a “jealous lady on the loose.” Once in custody, the suspect, Martina Alvarez, issues a rote line: “He told me he was leaving her…we would run away together.”

Nadine Velazquez Killer WomenParker responds, however. “My training and my instinct tell me you weren’t having an affair," she says in one of the more laughable lines in a perfunctory script written by Hannah Shakespeare (no relation).

It’s these sorts of tropes that ‘Killer Women’ tries and fails to subvert and complicate. There seems little to Parker that isn’t blatantly thrown at the viewer; it’s a color-by-numbers character. She has men around her that look down at her, including a smarmy husband from whom is she is trying to divorce; there is a steamy romance ongoing with a DEA Agent (“We can’t keep doing this,” she says in the processing of disrobing and embracing); she has an overprotective brother, crazy sister-in-law, and impressionable niece; Parker looks as attractive and comfortable in boots and jeans as she does in heels and an evening gown.

Giving way to a short and ludicrous yet explosive finale, ‘Killer Women’ is casual and cookie-cutter, lacking tension, authenticity, drama, and laughs for that matter. Helfer is certainly a compelling presence, but this role is far too simple, and simply boring, and there is even less interesting around her. There is a brief car chase, a gun battle, and a trip to Mexico, but everything is painted with such broad, generic strokes that nothing stands out.

Ultimately, there are plenty of other shows where one can find a complex, smart, beautiful, and tough woman (or women) in a leading role (‘The Americans,’ ‘Orange is the New Black,’ ‘Orphan Black,’ among others). What’s more, if you’re looking for some southern justice, where the locale actually itself plays a key role in the proceedings, then check out ‘Justified,’ which conveniently returns for a fifth season the same night at the same time.

So watch that instead – or anything else.

'Killer Women' premieres Jan. 7 on ABC at 10/9c.


Details
Person:
- Nadine Velazquez
- Tricia Helfer
Show:
- Killer Women
Network:
- ABC

Written by: AnthonyWrites
Jan 7th, 2014, 11:55 am

Images courtesy of ABC

ROSIEWOLF

Level 1 (3%)
Since: 09/Sep/12
Message Posted On Jan 19th, 2014, 9:23 pm

maybe it's just me or my age or whatever.. but i like the show.  with all the mindless drivel on these days, attacking good family shows that don't have any cussing or GD'ing in them is refreshing and entertaining.  WHY does Hollywood and "TVLand" think we want all the blood and guts and foul language??  cuz apparently , that is what sells advertising.  it's time to put a stop to all the garbage, go back to the tv days of Leave It To Beaver, Happy Days, and Mork and Mindy--enough with the phuck bombs, the swearing against God, and all the other crap.  stop showing the mindless commercials about cialis and viagra and tampons and the ilk like it.   don't they have a clue why NEWS shows get higher ratings than all their CRAP???? 

mike1616

Level 1 (75%)
Points: 7.8
Since: 19/Dec/12
Message Posted On Jan 12th, 2014, 12:47 pm

This was NOT a bad show but unfortunitly it isn't a great one either. It seems like it's just another cop show like Unforgettable, Justified, The Bridge or Longmire just to mention a few. In the first episode there was no contrasting back story so we have no idea what drives the charactures. Either they will flush out the story more in tne next few episodes or I just can't see it lasting. Too many simmilar shows for the market to support.

 

Ekerim

Level 2 (98%)
Points: 11.8
Since: 28/Aug/07
Message Posted On Jan 12th, 2014, 4:52 am

LOL You guys take this so serious. Don't worry Be happy as the old saying says. The series pilot was predictable and the action was like from a 80's Governator movie. 100 people shooting at a slowly backing car from damn close to point blank with a mix of weapons of which at least a few looked like AK's. Anyone know what a 7.62 does to a car... 5.56 ? The car would be a smoking heap of Swiss-cheesish metal. I like my series to at least have a grain of realism. This is just too much :) Hillariously fun though, sticking her torso out the window with a grenade lanucher :) Hehehe Loved it!

fozzie

Level 1 (45%)
Since: 02/Apr/13
Message Posted On Jan 10th, 2014, 10:56 pm

Tried it and frankly gave up terrible show there could i suppose be a gem buried deep in there but im sorry thats not good enough a show should be at least watchable this is dross sadly.

BillO

Level 1 (4%)
Since: 21/Mar/13
Message Posted On Jan 10th, 2014, 10:28 am

 

I am on the side of giving new shows a chance (especially if they happen to be in the genre I like) and I have not changed my opinion yet. I do not think this show, while not necessarily DOA does need some work. I think that if the only thing going for the show is the concept that there will be hot women running around in sexy outfits killing people and those women can only be caught by the "ballsy" (really?), but empathetic, statuesque, previously abused, female Texas Ranger, the show will run out of storyline really fast.

Even now, after only one episode, it feels like it has already been done, just under a different Texas law enforcement agency. It's a shame the writers couldn't have created a character similar to Detective Sonya Cross, played by Diane Kruger, in The Bridge. Sonya is a character that deserves the title "ballsy". This show is watchable, if not entirely memorable, and it definitely has room for improvement. Since this is a mid-season filler (I believe) it will probably be given a bit of time.  Hopefully it will be enough for the producers to work out the kinks.

Anonymous

Message Posted On Jan 9th, 2014, 2:17 am
Well, it deserves a shoot. But up against Justified is a difficult timeslot. The show about average I would say. But it defenitly is not Tricia Helfers fault, she does all she can with the character. I think the overall writing is lacking in quality somewhat. Compared to other shows out there right now it is nothing special, but there is also worse shows. For the BSG-Gang I hope it at least gets picked up for a season.
Kimberly1978VA

Level 7 (68%)
Points: 1146.9
Since: 11/Oct/12
Message Posted On Jan 8th, 2014, 10:53 pm

Writers are paid by TVRage for their reviews, regardless of whether they are positive or negative. Writing a negative review will not remove his or her access to screeners, so you can look forward to more reviews from this author.

Please keep in mind that the writers are individuals, whose opinions often conflict with each other. They are each encouraged to express his or her own opinion, which is why we have some writers who enjoy shows like ‘The Vampire Diaries’ and others who do not.

If you would like to see more content about a particular show, please feel free to contact someone on our News Staff page.

Kimberly Ainsworth
Web Coordinator at TVRage

FireTheRetard

Message Posted On Jan 8th, 2014, 12:07 pm
Reviewer is a dumbarse retard. Just because it isn't vampires, zombies or some other brain-dead Twitter twaddle doesn't mean it is intended for his basement-dwelling 20-something audience.
Anonymous

Message Posted On Jan 8th, 2014, 2:03 am
yanks, There is a new law that if a reviewer receives payolla they are required to state that. As I understand reviewers are also paid in access. Bad reviews mean no more freebies and advanced showings. Pretty sure if we pay enough attention to any media site, except the ones that merely list premiere dates, we can easily discern the review bias. Which shows receive the most mention, which are totally ignored.
yanks

Message Posted On Jan 7th, 2014, 8:52 pm
too the one who said-unforgettable in process getting cancelled again---get ur facts its been renewed+CONFIRMED-for a season 3 I agree-most critics slag films/tv off-and there grt-loads moaned about the raid/then its ace--avatar--CRAP-my worst film ever-but others loved-it--and no proof--but im sure reviewers-get paid of for good reviews-I know a lot get goody bags at shows
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