Happy Presidents’ Day, Americans! I’m actually Canadian, so I’m not entirely sure what this holiday is all about, but I figure you probably wave American flags in honor of your beloved Presidents while belting out “God Bless America,” right? Maybe eat some apple pie? Fire off some muskets?
In any case, a three-day weekend can’t be so bad, especially if the break gives you an excuse to binge-watch your favorite TV presidents. I know I’m not the only one who’s watched more fictional presidents than real ones – and it’s not just because I’m your neighbor to the North. Pretend presidents are way more exciting and interesting than real presidents, thanks to all the drama and intensity they face on a daily basis, and, of course, all the sex scandals…OK, maybe pretend presidents are pretty much the same as real ones, but I think we can agree they’re at least better-looking. It’s no wonder why we want to live vicariously through these fake POTUSes – all the power, the prestige, passion, and flattering lighting!
So, in honor of your Presidents’ Day, I’ve put together a fancy personality test listing memorable TV Presidents and what your personal favorite president says about you. Try it: it’s both revealing and fool-proof. All hail the chief!
President Josiah Bartlet (Martin Sheen), ‘The West Wing’
You’re an inspirational person, who can easily rhyme off important-sounding quotes from the likes of Shakespeare and Roosevelt, without breaking a sweat. Yeah, that’s right: you’re the smartest person in the room. Always. When you’re not bossing people around – I mean, leading them – you’re in the kitchen, cooking (you make a mean Thanksgiving dinner). When you’re not scribbling in your journal, you’re hanging out with your bros and questioning God.
President David Palmer (Dennis Haysbert), ‘24’
You’re not afraid to let other people lead (especially if they can save the country from terrorist threats) because when it comes to making decisions, you faithfully trust your gut. You’re a family man, so when the chips are down, you always put your fam first. But that doesn’t mean you’re a pushover: you’re no-nonsense and direct, which results in (almost) always getting the response you want. You also have a pretty strong immune system, so, really, not much can get you down. Oh, and your baritone voice is so smooth, it can sell anything, like, say, insurance.
President Mackenzie Allen (Geena Davis), ‘Commander in Chief’
You thrive on being first in almost everything (like being the first female president), and you’re most likely a feminist. You’re pretty much heads-and-shoulders above the crowd (because you're probably super tall), and you're unafraid to break the rules, including the proverbial glass ceiling. Unfortunately, you’re ahead of your time, so people (voters and viewers) may not be ready for your presence at the head of the table (or state), but that’s OK. You’ll keep on swinging.
President Fitzgerald Grant (Tony Goldwyn), ‘Scandal’
You can charm the pants off anyone, and you know it. You’re passionate and romantic, which means that you’re easily led by your emotions. On the other hand, you sometimes feel you are living a double-life, which means you have some major trust issues. And despite having the best head of hair in any room (including the Oval Office, of course), you’re also pretty sleazy. But hey – that’s just only apart of your sex appeal. Oh yeah: and you have a lot of sex. Like, a lot.
President George W. Bush (Will Ferrell), ‘Saturday Night Live’ and ‘You’re Welcome America: A Final Night with George W. Bush’
You’re the class clown. You like making people laugh, and you don’t care if it’s at your expense. Most times you don’t realize when you’re being funny, which makes you even more hilarious. You are most likely Southern, or at least enjoy Southern comforts, like cattle ranches, chicken pot pie, and tobacco. You’re also pretty close with your dad, and often find yourself trying to finish your father’s battles. You like sports more than reading, which probably explains why you find yourself making up words to sound more intelligent than you are.
President Garrett Walker (Michael Gill), ‘House of Cards’
You are easily manipulated by people, even if you don’t realize it at the time. Sometimes you can lose your temper when you feel out of control, which happens more often than you’d like. You have powerful friends, but are quick to end alliances with life-long chums if your interests no longer align. Your work trumps your relationships, but you are eager to make things right with your significant other, even if the attempts end in vain. You’re a bit of a stick-in-the-mud, too, and have strong opinions, and though you like your voice to be heard, not a lot of people are actually listening.