It’s Monday afternoon, and the National Football League season has officially come to an end. For some fans, it ended when fantasy leagues were done, and for others, the end of the divisional round marked its own piece of melancholic finality.
So now begins the long, sad time period between the end of one season and the start of another – but fear not! We have for you now a handy NFL Team to TV Show Conversion chart that will inform you of what shows you should take up in order to fill the void of your favorite team.
Presented in descending order, this incredibly scientific endeavor parallels the similarities between your fave team and its television counterpart. Side note: it also works in the other direction if you want a football team to get behind before next year.
Seattle Seahawks – ‘Mad Men’: Lauded and deservedly so, the show features some charming characters who aren’t necessarily the nicest, most wholesome people. They are manly men who want so much to win, and do, and also they sometimes get caught using drugs.
Denver Broncos – ‘Game of Thrones’: Complex with passionate followers, it’s both impressive on a grand scale and features a talented cast. Every now and then too, there is a bloodbath, and it sends loyal fans crazy.
San Francisco 49ers – ‘Justified’: Featuring a charming, likeable, and badass lead, as well as a prominent character who might be a sociopath, every week you always get something gritty, tough, and calculated.
New England Patriots – ‘The Wire’: Created by a genius who is kind of a bully, lots of people love it, but lots of other people get sick of hearing how great it is.
Carolina Panthers – ‘True Detective’: With a strong foundation and two talented men in prominent roles, people are pretty excited. It all could be really good, but it’s too early to tell how good, and for how long.
New Orleans Saints – ‘Community’: Really talented, smart, and entertaining, but when their leader was fired for not playing by the rules, everything suffered. He’s back now, and they’re slowly returning to form.
Indianapolis Colts – ‘Orphan Black’: Held together by one unbelievably talented person, it’s fun to watch and has a bright future, despite being from a smaller market.
San Diego Chargers – ‘Futurama’: Consistently fun with moments of greatness, and featuring a lot of animated characters who get into weird situations (falling in love with a fictitious woman is plausible). Also, sometimes it's really hard to find on TV.
Cincinnati Bengals– ‘Sherlock’: Stylish, hip, and slightly overrated, this show features two players who work great together, can be amazing in short bursts, but never seems to play a full season.
Kansas City Chiefs – ‘The Americans’: Potent, gritty, and heading in the right direction, it came on strong last year and fans are hopeful for what’s coming next. Also, not sure if the people pulling the strings are in over their heads or not.
Philadelphia Eagles – ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’: Featuring a bunch of foul-mouthed goofs who will never win any awards; entertaining, but sometimes a trainwreck.
Green Bay Packers– ‘South Park’: A hard-working, independently-run franchise from small beginnings that has been so consistently good, we can forget any of the bad times. The Packers also used to play in Milwaukee a couple times a year, and South Park ventured to the big screen with ‘Bigger, Longer, Uncut.’
Arizona Cardinals – ‘Treme’: Actually pretty good, but no one really pays that much attention, and there is only one popularly recognizable star.
Miami Dolphins – ‘The Simpsons’: Has been around for a long time and was once perennially great, but not that many people really care anymore.
New York Jets – ‘Family Guy’: Stuck in the past trying to do the same thing over and over while led by a fat guy, yet it somehow has a lot of crazy loyal fans who will hate this comparison.
Dallas Cowboys– ‘Girls’: A self-assured, stubborn organization that people really love or really hate and everyone talks about regardless. Also, the lead is undeservedly much-maligned, and has a tendency to end up in embarrassing situations.